When to get out

Recently, I came across this question on Quora:

"How do I get my boyfriend to stop blaming everything bad that happens on me? Why does he do this?"

I am a subscriber of Psychology Today and this is what I read from their article, "Why Does Your Narcissistic Partner Always Blame You?":

"People who have narcissistic personality disorder cannot tolerate the idea that they might be to blame, so they accuse someone else instead." 

This is a subject that interest me because I often listen to stories about crimes of passion.  I do not want my children to be stuck in such a relationship and not realise the danger they could put themselves in, being attracted to someone who is narcissistic.

According to Candice DeLong, an acclaimed psychologist and former FBI criminal profiler, narcissists are inveterate liars. They lie not only to others but to themselves. They tend to create a false reality in their lives to cloak their conscience. So, it will not be an easy task for someone to try to "fix them" as they will manipulate people they are involved with into thinking that there is nothing wrong in the relationship.

Due to their insecurity, narcissists will not be happy when their partners are doing well.  Get out of the relationship as:

-they strives on your adoration and will not be happy if you have other interest that does not involves him.
-they are often jealous of your success or ability.
-they often lie to you and will share implausible stories to cover their tracks.

My time spent watching true crime stories has not been in vain as I picked the above information from watching this video about "Narcissist's Obsession".

If you are still wondering whether your partner could be a narcissist, you should check out Danielle Radin on her YouTune channel. She shared top signs that you have a narcissist in your life in the following video:

Watch this video and you will know what your life will be like if you continue to stay in the relationship.

My alone time

When the children were younger, there was a trick I used to play on my family.  I used to pretend that I hate ironing clothes.  My ironing board is located in the laundry room which is along a small corridor at the back of the house.  I would tell my children, looking sad, that I had to iron clothes.  I get them to watch their favourite TV programes with their father, before I head to the laundry room. Their father will ensure that they do not distrub me while I was ironing.  

That was the most alone time I had for myself.  I had a portable radio there and I would listen to some cassette tapes that I had picked up from the Buddhist society.  They were moral educational tapes with very interesting story lines.  I remember one about a well-known noble man in ancient time.  A young boy insulted him in public and people around were surprised that he was not punish for being disrespectful.  A few years later the noble man regreted forgiving the young boy because he grew up fearless and killed someone.  It did influence the way I raised my children.

Punishment is not for revenge, but to lessen crime and reform the criminal.
-Elizabeth Fry 

Now that the children are older, I have more time to myself and I still spend thoes moments listening to stories.  This time I use my mobile phone. Other than while I am ironing the clothes, I also do it while I am doing these mundane chores at home:

-weeding the garden
-cooking meals for the family
-doing the laundry

I am now addicted to listening to true crime stories on YouTube.   I also (mostly) listen and watch (now and then) them while I am taking my lunch alone at my bike shop or while I crochet. It stops my mind from wandering to matters I don’t want it to think about. Self pity will be one of them if I am doing a chore that I feel I should not be working on.

I have been told that watching/listening to crime stories is very negative as there are fights and death involved. But you will be surprised at the amount of information I can learn by listening to some of my favourite YouTubers. From them I learn about:

-the people and the environment of the towns where the crime occured (geography).
-the crime rate of the states involved (statistics).
-how crimes are solved (how investigators work).
-how scientific methods are used to solve crimes (science).
-how criminals think (psychology).
-why or how criminals kill and hide their crimes (life stories that led to the murders).
-the victims (how relationships can trigger crime of passion).
-unsolved crimes (which I can create awareness by sharing the stories)
-information of crimes that occured in other countries (general knowledge).
-sentencing of the criminals (law and how court hearings are conducted)

Do you know that the judicial system in South Korea is very lenient for sex offenders. A rapist sentence was reduced as he claimed that he was drunk when he raped an eight-year-old girl. When he was released he returned to his former residence which is less than 1km from the victim’s home. It is also not far away from schools and playgrounds where he had been seen hanging around. 

I picked that story up from Rotten Mango. 

You can learn a lot about Asian culture if you listen to Stephanie Soo on her podcast and YouTube channel. I also like it that, she is creating awarteness by highlighting what is actually going on so that we can take actions to push for change that will help victims of crimes.

How negative is that?

Rice Paper Meals

I shared how I can make braised pork and meat floss with soup bone earlier and after discovering that I can serve meat floss in rice paper, I became interested in finding recipes for them.  So, I am glad that Beryl Shereshewsky also shared such recipes in the following video because she had leftover rice paper from her last video.

There are additional recipes from this video for me to check out.

This looks so easy to make.  Just marinate bite size pieces chciken breast with salt, pepper and curry powder before wrapping each piece with softened rice paper to pan fry for 5 minutes.

Airfry 2-Ingredient Milk Bread

Yes, you can bake a bread in the airfryer too.  What I like about this bread recipe which I found on Tik Tok is that I require only two ingredients to make it.

You can learn to change the flavour of this bread by watching this video. 

3-Ingredient Cakes

I like keeping recipes that requires three or less ingredients to make.  

Here is one for baking sponge cake. 

I can add flavouring essense to the batter if I want to.

I prefer this recipe which I found on YouTube as less sugar is used.

Sponge cake can also be steamed to cook.  The preparation method is the same except that the base of the cake pan need to be lined but not be greased.

This method is a little different as the egg york is separated from the white before it is beaten with sugar.

I would also like to try making 3-Ingredient Greek Yogurt Cake.

It can be baked in an airfryer too.

Korean Chillie Sauce

I buy CP Korean Popcorn Chicken whenever there is an offer running for it.  

The popcorn chicken taste good by itself after it has been air fried, which is the way my daughter loves eating it.  I can also use the meat for making sweet and sour chicken.  So what did I do with the packets of chillie sauce that came with them?  I have been saving them in the fridge.  Recently, I discovered that I can add about 2 tablespoon of the chillie sauce to my bell pepper dish to change its flavour.

Since I did not add meat to this batch of bell peppers dish I made, I decided to add the leftover  pan fried pork cutlet from yesterday, by slicing them up.  

Love the way it turned out and brought it to work at eat for lunch.  

I wonder if you have noticed that I have placed the metal container in a plastic container.  I usually store my food in metal containers so that it will be easier to heat it up later over a pot of boiling water.  As the food is still hot, it will be difficult for me to handle the metal container.  So I will use a plactic container as an insulator.  This time I made a wrong judgement and use a plastic container which was too small so I was not able to cover it up tightly.  The sauce spilled into the reusable bag and I have to wash it.

So, remember to always use a plastic container that is larger so that both containers can be closed properly.  

I like the chillie sauce from CP Korean Popcorn Chicken so much that I started looking out for Korean chillie sauce.  If you are doing the same, don't ever buy Spicy Korean Sauce from Lotus's.  It does not taste anywhere near that from CP.